There is a event in the Mahabharata that makes me think every time I go through it. During the Pandavas’ exile, Yudhishthira finds himself standing before a mysterious Yaksha who asks him a profound questions. His brothers lie unconscious beside the lake, and yet Yudhishthira does not rush. He listens and reflects then answers. Among the many questions the Yaksha asks are the two that feel surprisingly relevant to the way many of us live today.
Questions :
- Who is truly happy?
- What is the greatest wonder?
To me, his answer to the first points towards something remarkably simple : contentment. The greatest happiness is not necessarily found in having more, but in being able to experience what one has with contentment. This is where mindfulness becomes essential. It is simple to understand, but not always easy to practice. Yet, once we begin practising it, something shifts in the way we experience life
Then the second question-What is the greatest wonder?
Yudhishthira observes that human beings witness death, disappointment, heartbreak, loneliness, betrayal, distractions around them every day, yet continue to live as though they themselves will somehow remain untouched by it. Sometimes I wonder if there is another, version of this wonder playing out in our everyday lives.
We know that life is uncertain. Things change, yet, when something beautiful arrives, instead of receiving it, we begin preparing ourselves for its disappearance. We get the opportunity we have been waiting for…and immediately wonder what could go wrong.
A relationship begins to feel peaceful…and we start looking for signs that something has changed, something might go wrong, the person might change. Someone treats us with genuine kindness…and a small voice inside asks: “What’s the catch?” Life gives us a few good days…and instead of saying, This is so beautiful, we tell ourselves: Don’t get too comfortable, Don’t get too excited. Let’s see how long this lasts. And perhaps that is the question I want to explore today :
Can we allow something good to simply be good, simply because it is good right now?
When The Good Thing Arrives
Something you have wanted for a long time finally happens, and you smile. You breathe, feel grateful and then another thought appears : I hope this lasts. Or Let’s see what happens. Or perhaps: I should not get too excited and act as nothing has happened. There is no evidence that anything is about to go wrong. Some part of you has already begun preparing for it.
Yet some part of you has already started preparing for the possibility. You begin looking for the small sign. The change in someone’s tone. The unanswered message. The slight difference in behaviour. The thing that doesn’t quite fit. And before you know it, you are no longer experiencing the beautiful moment. You are monitoring it.
When Your Mind Is Always Looking For The Next Problem
There is a difference between being aware and being on guard. Awareness is : I will deal with whatever life brings. On the other hand, being on guard says: ‘I need to figure out what might go wrong before it happens.’ It keeps you preparing for something that may not even exist. Sometimes we become so accustomed to preparing that we don’t even recognise it as a pattern anymore. We call it being practical. We call it being realistic.
We tell ourselves : I am just protecting myself. And perhaps, at some point in our lives, that protection was necessary. Perhaps disappointment taught us not to trust too quickly. Perhaps heartbreak taught us to keep our expectations low. Perhaps repeated uncertainty taught us to always have a Plan B. Perhaps we learned that when things felt good, it was safer not to become too comfortable. So the mind did what minds often do, it learned, learned to anticipate, learned to scan, it learned to protect. Eventually, the mind may begin doing this even when there is nothing in the present that needs protecting.
What Are You Protecting Yourself From?
Not: Why am I so negative? But: What am I afraid would happen if I allowed myself to fully receive this? Would you be afraid of losing it? Of becoming attached? Of being disappointed? Of trusting someone and being hurt again? Of finally relaxing and then having life surprise you? Perhaps it isn’t the good thing itself that scares us. Perhaps it is what we imagine its loss would do to us. So we try to get ahead of the pain. If I don’t become too happy, perhaps I won’t be too disappointed. If I don’t trust completely, perhaps I won’t be hurt. If I expect something to go wrong, perhaps it won’t shock me when it does. It sounds like protection. But there is a hidden cost. While you are preparing for tomorrow’s pain, today’s joy is quietly passing by.
The Cost Of Always Keeping One Foot Outside The Moment
Imagine a beautiful experience, an opportunity, standing at your doorway… and you are almost ready to welcome it, but one part of you remains outside, watching, checking, preparing. What if this happens in your relationships? Someone is loving you, but you are waiting for them to change. You are receiving the love, but not allowing yourself to trust it. Is it fair on your part? What if it happens with success? Something wonderful happens, but you are already worrying about whether you can maintain it.
Perhaps This Is Where Contentment Becomes A Practice
The way I read Yudhishthira’s answer, happiness is bound up with something very simple: contentment. Contentment does not mean: Nothing will ever change. I will never experience pain again. And it certainly doesn’t mean settling for less than what is right for you. Perhaps contentment is not about demanding certainty from life before allowing ourselves to be mindful. It is being able to say: This moment is good. This person is here. This opportunity has arrived. This is a peaceful day.
What If You Trusted Yourself Instead?
Perhaps the deeper knowing is not learning to predict what will happen. It is learning to trust yourself to meet what happens. That is very different. When you don’t trust yourself to handle disappointment, you may try to prevent disappointment by staying emotionally guarded. You keep expectations low. You don’t celebrate too soon. You don’t completely relax. You keep analysing. You stay prepared. But when you begin trusting yourself : You no longer need to know that everything will be okay. Whatever happens, I will meet it.
There is a word for this kind of trust śraddhā. It is not blind optimism, and not certainty. It is the kind of faith that lets you receive what is here without first demanding proof that it will remain safe or unchanged. That is where real freedom begins. You can let life surprise you because you trust yourself enough to meet whatever comes.
Can You Let The Good Moment Be Complete?
Maybe the practice is not to convince yourself that nothing bad will happen. Because something might. Life is life. People change. Circumstances change. You change. Beautiful chapters end.
New chapters begin. We don’t get guarantees. Perhaps we can stop making the possibility of future pain the price we pay for present joy. You don’t have to know that something will last forever to appreciate it today. You don’t have to guarantee that a relationship will never change before allowing yourself to love. You don’t have to know that an opportunity will succeed before allowing yourself to be excited. You don’t have to know what tomorrow holds before allowing yourself to be peaceful tonight.
Maybe you simply say: I don’t know what happens next but right now, this is good and I can stay here for a little while. Without checking, analysing, preparing. Without waiting for the other shoe to drop.
A Little Practice For You
The next time something genuinely good happens, pause before your mind begins to analyse it. Ask yourself :
1. Can I receive this without questioning it?
2. What am I afraid might happen if I allow myself to fully enjoy this?
And if you do not know the answer yet, take one breath and say:
1. I don’t need to know what happens next.
2. I can be present with what is here.
When you do this -The future does not suddenly become more predictable instead you become more present.
Look A Little Deeper
Sometimes we know what triggers us, but we don’t always recognise the pattern underneath our reaction. Maybe you withdraw. Maybe you overthink. Maybe you seek reassurance. Maybe you try to control the situation. Maybe you suppress what you really feel. Maybe you prepare for disappointment before it arrives.
The more interesting question is: What is actually driving your reaction? I have created a short Emotional Mirror™ self-reflection assessment to help you explore some of the emotional patterns underneath the way you react, communicate and relate. Take the free assessment.
Awareness becomes powerful when we begin to see the pattern while we are actually living it. That is where the real inner work begins.
Perhaps This Is Another Form Of Inner Authority
Inner authority is not about knowing exactly what will happen. It is not about controlling every outcome. It is not about becoming immune to disappointment. Perhaps it is the trust : I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. But I trust myself to meet it when it arrives. And because of that trust…you don’t have to abandon today’s joy in anticipation of tomorrow’s pain, deadline, disappointments.
You can let something beautiful be beautiful. You can receive the love. You can celebrate the opportunity. You can breathe in the peaceful morning. You can enjoy the conversation. You can allow yourself to feel grateful, because it is here now. And perhaps that is enough. Today can be good. You do not have to wait for something to go wrong before you allow yourself to feel okay.
If waiting for the other shoe to drop is a pattern you keep living inside it may be worth looking a little deeper. Sometimes we know what we are doing, but we do not always see the deeper pattern driving it. This is the kind of inner work we do through Emotional Mirror™ assessment and healing work bringing unconscious patterns into work so they no longer shape the way you experience your relationships, choices, abundance and life.
Explore your emotional patterns with the free Emotional Mirror™ assessment. And if you would like to continue exploring these conversations with me, you can join Inner Authority Circle.
Love and blessings
Vishnupriya
